The Bends

I very well may be writing to myself. That's okay, I suppose.

In my journey to live a somewhat normal life, I've learned that said journey is easier said than done. I've been battling with a myriad of new symptoms-- in the face, and especially in my arms. Not only have my symptoms been exacerbated, but my emotions have been as well. I'm finding it very difficult to gain the support I feel I need from the people I wish to get it from. With that said though, I am so very grateful to the wonderful girl friends I have who have made this transition an easier one.

I seem to find myself in the same position over and over again; certain that I can cling to others and forget what my future (my medical future) has in store for me. I keep finding out the hard way this is not so. How does anyone with MS do this? I feel incredibly vulnerable and sad all the time-- I've become a person I no longer recognize. Fear may be fueling these feelings, but am I going to be scared until I'm finally in a wheelchair or on my deathbed? There must be some solution to dealing with stress this severe and frightening.

Now I'm just mad.